milestones, minus the bellinis

my son graduates from pre-school tomorrow and, not surprisingly, i am overwhelmed with feeling.

in short form:

* wonder.amazement.pride.

* anxious (the performance anxiety kind): following the graduation there is a potluck. don’t know why this matters to me? a little history on my inadequacy can be found here.

* vain: what should i wear? i know it’s not about me though it kind of is, no?

* the tired: oh wait, that’s everyday.

* thankful: he has learned so, so much.

* terror: nevermind wondering how i will keep him engaged, excited, entertained, and enthusiastic without the thrice weekly adorableness, i’m concerned that we both might not make it out alive.

* hope: my big little boy… so curious, so bright, so intuitive, so intense, so sensitive, so wise, so spirited, so special, so unwritten.

* relaxed: no more getting out-the-door battles. winnnnnnnnnnnn.

* rich: a little extra money in the bank never hurt anyone.

* grief: how is it that my first baby, made by my dreams for the future and born red-faced and birdlike, held in my arms and at my breast, has become this little man, and so quickly?

* horror: there is a 100% guarantee that i will weep in front of all the other mothers (the normal ones, who can bake). shizer.

* trust: he will continue to mature and i likely will too (right?).

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