amazing grace

the only unfortunate part about birthing a second beautiful child is that your first beautiful child has to get a bit further away from you, to make space. no one really tells you how conflicted you might feel, loving this new life whilst grieving some perceived loss of your first. or how your skin might ache for the touch of the child who you have spent the last number of years loving, exclusively, and who, until now, was the love of your life. i wasn’t ready for that ache, that ache that might make it just a bit hard to swallow, or adjust to my new little precious.

today, when i had a moment to get real close to my moo, he snuggled into my face, looked me in the eyes, put his fingers in my hair, breathed deeply, and told me that i had “beautiful hair, mom-mom”. then, taking my arm and tucking my hand around his body he, unprompted, reminded me: “you are not lost mommy” and, patting his chest, asserted “i am right here”.

found.

it’s like i am now, officially, home from the hospital. home in the smell of his skin. home in the sound of his breath. home in the warmth of his tender, loving, knowing, being.

home, trusting there will be room for two.

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2 Comments to “amazing grace”

  1. Tears, all over again, just like when you told me this story. Hormonal mess? Yes, that’s me.

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