everyone hates advice

i know you get oppositional when people give you advice. it’s okay, we all do, to some degree. this said, this is not the time to get in a dither. there have been many hard days lately and, because i am your friend, and because i have opinions, and because you like that about me, i say it’s time for a pep talk. so, here goes. it’s me telling you what to do time. kay? kay.

it’s simple, really. remember the basics dear friend. no matter what developmental stage, the basics have value, i know you know this. scale back, breathe deep, indulge in your love for your child, show your love in all ways you interact with your child, practice gratitude, respond to your child with kindness and compassion as often as you are able and, when you are tired and impatient, tread lightly, be gentle, find your hide away reserve of grace and try not to behave in a manner you can’t be proud of later.

remember that having authority in your dynamic and employing consistency, discipline, and/or positive reinforcement is practicing love and don’t let those damn ninny’s scare you from this practice. don’t be afraid of your child’s resistance or great demonstrations of opposition, you are inately powerful too. be careful to not squash their effort to assert themselves either, we are all frail deep down, after all. just stay calm and firm. highlight the calm piece. when you fail, because you will, don’t be angry at yourself for long, it’s not productive.

if you need to heal and reconnect, give kisses and hugs, lots of them. dance it out together. go for a long walk together, maybe in silence. read together. sleep together. be outside more then normal, get wet in water together, collect treasures, be still without expectation for a bit.

then, if it’s not working, and you know it isn’t, change it. stop whining. if you need help, get help. just don’t be stuck. children grow and we have a responsibility to grow with them.

now suck it up, bear down, and get on with it. become who you need to become. persevere. own it. you are the mother, you got this.


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