pinot grigio parenting

i have a lot of opinions and, i have a lot of opinions about parenting. i can’t help it and if i could, i probably wouldn’t. all of me adds up to giving a shit.

this being said, i know i’m not the answer. i’m not the answer for you, or you, or you, or even me sometimes.

but, here’s my beef. what’s the deal with you? why are you and your theory based parenting practice so arrogant? seriously, you need to get a life. i don’t consider myself an expert but it’s not going to do me any favours to minimize my years of work experience assessing, supporting, and nurturing peeps and their families, and, of those years, primarily face to face intervention based work with growing souls. so, yah, i do have some knowledge of little people needs, communication and behavioural processes, individual and family systems, relational complexities, the developmental continuum, pro social child development concepts, the psycho-emotional-social health of wee brains, parenting dynamics, parenting strategies, home, family, and parenting organization to support flow and function, and, primarily, of me, my own eff’n life, my marriage, our mooliscious creation, and our parenting. and you know what that experience highlights for me?

kids don’t need your theory to be well adjusted and well attached to their life source. mothers don’t need your guilt. fathers don’t need another influence to create doubt in their children’s mother’s borderline crazy and worry riddled brain.

it’s cool if some of you want, crave, or need a parenting philosophy. go for. the thing is, i don’t. it’s not welcome here. keep it to yourself. mother your business. we didn’t order any of you.

i treat my babe right and he knows bliss. he is safe, nurtured, and celebrated. his basic needs are healthily met by a clean house, good food, functional sleep routines, loads of fresh air play, good vibes all around, and more love available then he even wants to receive. we have well laid out expectations, we got clearly communicated consequences, we got consistent and age appropriate discipline. we have authorative role division and we got tons of opportunity for input and colaboration. i am working on treating his dad better and am also trying to find some space for me and for some soul fun in all of this too. we work on priciples like positivity, balance and boundaries. that’s about it. we kick it old school, i guess. reality lives here.

so, please. don’t prescribe me a set of principles to establish a bond between my moo and me. we’re bonded, every day more then the last, in fact, and when he points to his navel, “button mom-mom”, a so real scar of where he was attached to me, i get a rewind flashback glimpse of just how deep that bond really is. and you can relax. i’m no fool. i know bonds can be shattered. i’ve heard it. i’ve seen it. unfortunately, i have seen things i cant seem to un-see and i am haunted by what some children do not have. so, just trust that i will do everything in moo’s best interest. i got it locked down. we just live it. no reminders needed, no unsolicited advice welcome. not from the cult of you, anyhow.

got it? if you’d like to discuss anything but my parenting style, you’ll find me on the deck, with my frosted glass of wine, complete with a sigh of relief and a big smile.


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5 Comments to “pinot grigio parenting”

  1. Well said. I think the reason why people seek out parenting “philosophies” is that a lot of us (ok, maybe just me) don’t have a clue what we’re doing. We’re hoping for some help, guidance, reassurance that we are not screwing it all up, but know deep down that a philosophy/method won’t really give us this. Ultimately, we all need to figure it out as a family as we go along. Then, when we think we’ve got a handle on things, they change, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse, but inevitably they change. That seems to be the only consistency in parenting, that things change, and thus we need to change. This, and the fact that every family is different, is why each “parenting style” is different. So I say, relax, embrace the change, try, fail, try again, succeed and cherish this wonderful, crazy, challenging experience of being a parent; that’s the one thing that will never change. 🙂

  2. I dont even know how you can have a parenting “philosophy”? Is that not an oxymoron? Isn’t parenting just following your heart and your soul, and dealing with it as you go? My philosophy, or lacktherof, is unconditional love and surrender. Voila. Oh and I really like you. Wished you lived closer.

  3. thank you. you are awesome. you made my day. glad there are mamas out there like you!

  4. It starts so early. At 16 weeks pregnant, people are already telling me how I should manage the life and birthing and raising of this child, and his or her bones are not even fully-formed. A polite smile hides the “eff off, eh” attitude I am carrying inside, the last place I should be harbouring any such sentiment… My mama said there’d be days like this…

  5. As someone who has repeatedly ignored the advice of many when it came to raising my son, I say AMEN to this!!…. and yes I even did him the huge “dis-service” of raising him myself on purpose… I dared to homeschool when the public system failed us, I dared to let him show me who he was instead of deciding what I wanted him to be… well now he is the most amazing teenager I know. And now most people tell me how wonderful he is… I feel vindicated that I listened to my heart and not the fear mongering of the so called “experts”…. the predictions of the limited abilities my son would have … have been far exceeded, if I had listened to them… that would have been the dis-service to my son…. and isn’t amazing how many of them don’t have children…..

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